Controlling the Darkness
by Artsoul007
Summary: 19-year-old Harry Potter is thrown back in time when he disrupts a ritual of Voldemorts while trying to kill him. Now, having to repeat his life he attempts to change things for the better utilizing the memories of not one, but two powerful wizards. His goals? Avoid manipulation, destroy Voldemort, and change the Wizarding world. Adult themes and content, Grey!Harry, Harry/Multi
1. Authors Note

**UPDATE**

 **Authors Note - Update: 2/15/2018: CoD is on hold for now but not abandoned.**

I was diagnosed with Cancer last month, just after starting this story. Shortly after posting the most recent update I got some less than stellar news, and as such, things have gotten a bit more serious than originally thought. As such, CoD is on the back burner for now. It is NOT abandoned, but its likely updates will be very slow in coming for a time, especially as I will, at some point in the near future, have to go through a fairly involved surgery and recovery period. I need to focus on my health.

 **Authors Note – Date: 1/01/2018:**

This is literally my FIRST ever written fan fiction and only my second ever story. I will do my best to make it a good one.

I will also attempt my very best to keep it clean of most spelling/grammar mistakes, but no guarantees.

As for any plot mistakes, feel free to let me know of anything you spot in a civil manner.

Please Review (hopefully civilly). Be gentle

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 **Plot:**

19-year-old Harry Potter is thrown back in time when he disrupts a ritual of Voldemorts while trying to kill him. Now, having to repeat his life he attempts to change things for the better utilizing the memories of not one, but two powerful wizards. His goals? Avoid manipulation, destroy Voldemort, and change the Wizarding world.

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 **Notices:**

While most of the story will take place after Harry is sent back in time, there will be several chapters after the prologue that take place in the present/future time before Harry is actually sent back. This is to set the scene and tone, and "perhaps" explain some things that may make more sense later on.

This story will contain Adult themes and content including sexual situations, violence, and darker content. No warnings will be given before such scenes, but lead in should provide clues.

This is not a normal Harry story. He will be grey, and perhaps even dark at times. He will have knowledge beyond his age.

There will be a variety of pairings within this story, including pairings beyond Harry himself. However be forewarned that Harry will have relationships with several individuals, and some at this same time, or ones more unusual in nature. This is NOT a harem story, but it is a Harry multi story in a way. I will not give out the pairings at this time, but people can jump to their own conclusions.

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 **Characters:**

 _The planned main characters at this current time are:_

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger

Neville Longbottom

Daphne Greengrass

Nymphadora Tonks

Astoria Greengrass

Luna Lovegood

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Amelia Bones

Ginny Weasley

Susan Bones

 _Note*_ It is entirely possible that more will be added, however at this time these are the characters with roles that are more central to Harry. You may notice that "Golden Trio" Ron Weasley is left out. There is a reason for this.


	2. Prologue - COD

**Prologue - The end, the beginning.**

Harry Potter dragged himself across the ground to her fallen and broken body, passing by the dying and destroyed being that was once Lord Voldemort as he did so. Voldemort had clearly fared far worse than they had. Having been at the epicenter of the backlash and subsequent implosion, his body torn asunder and even if the darkness pulsing from him had not killed him, his wounds would have. In fact, it was surprising he had not died already, though Harry knew it would happen shortly.

The dark energy pulsing within and amongst them was palpable. He could taste its metallic tang, and its very essence burned at his eyes and caused him to struggle to breathe. Harry continued his crawl, almost there now, beginning to feel faint, arms suddenly tingling, legs filled with lead. As he reached her he watched the darkness that was flowing to and from her, a pulse that seemed to beat to her slowing heart. Looking down he saw the same dark pulses from himself and as he glanced over he noticed that what was left of Vold… well, Tom Riddle now, he noted the pulses were visibly slowing down. He was nothing but a man, a dying man. Even know his breath became shallower and a keen welled up from what was left of his throat and mouth.

Unable to listen and watch any longer to what was left of his foe, he turned back to his companion. As he stared at her, too horrified to speak, her body became fully infused with the curse and her mind began to drift. He reached out and grasped at her, her skin darkening around his touch. He could see dark tendrils reaching out from her body for a new host, aware that the current host was failing to provide enough sustenance, but he was of no use as a new host, just as filled with darkness as she was. They were grasping around, feeling for and absorbing the ambient magic around them but he knew they would fail and collapse along with their three bodies as they finally succumbed.

A sudden gust of air ruffled his messy hair and he glanced away from her back towards where Voldemort had been standing before he torn apart and tossed aside. In the center of the now destroyed ritual circle, he saw what appeared to be a pulsing black tear in the air. He was surprised he had not noticed it before but it was small, and getting smaller as he watched. And yet, as it shrunk it also seemed to gain power, the air flowing and gusting around the area strong then before. Interestingly the tendrils seemed to shrink away from it as if they feared whatever it was.

He knew Voldemort had been trying to somehow link himself directly to magic, and in addition bind his soul to time and space, a horcrux if you will, to be made and attached to the very essence of the magic within universe somehow. The concept was well beyond Harry, and likely beyond Voldemort himself, but desperate times meant desperate individuals. The world around them had fallen to pieces, the war and abuse of darker magics towards the end extracting a terrible toll. There was no longer a world to maintain, to save, to destroy, to defend, to conquer, to call a home. In the end, it had been simple revenge on Harry's part that kept him going and for Voldemort… well, it was probably still a fear of death. A silly thing to fear when one has lost so much Harry thought.

A sudden movement and whisper caused him to whip his head back and stare down at his companion and friend. Her head had turned and her lips were moving.

"Did... we... stop h... him?", she asked weakly.

"Yes..." Harry sighed idly watching as the dark tendrils reaching from her form had now found him but repeatedly fell away as if unable to grasp purchase. "He's not dead yet but he should pass on shortly... he was at the center when the ritual failed, and with no horcruxes left, and with what he was attempting to do, I am sure he won't be coming back."

The finality of that statement made her eyes shine and sparkle for just a moment before falling back to darkness.

"I think... I... I think..." she struggled out as life began to leave her.

"It's ok..." He said sadly, "I know."

"You don't... she gasped back, refusing to let go. "I think... loved... loved you, Harry Potter."

Harry lay down next to her, grabbing her hand and clutching it tightly in his. The curse had touched them all, and he cared not that the darkness seeping from her was cascading over his body now, for he knew that he too would be claimed by the void in time. He could feel the darkness now within him struggling to overcome his natural magical defenses, built up from years of fighting and training. Perhaps it would not claim him as soon as Voldemort was, and certainly not before the woman now in his arms, but it would claim him.

And he would welcome it.

What she had just said to him had surprised him. They had slept together on quite a few occasions, bonding over the past year as both of them had lost so many friends, family, and even loves to this war. And yet, while they had certainly acted like a couple much of the time, pretending to be one in muggle company, sleeping in the same bed more often than not as the year passed by, and taking comfort in each other's bodies and minds, he was never quite sure how to define their relationship.

She was a bit older than him, and earlier in his life had been more of an older sister figure, as well as a trainer and confidant. He knew that at one point he had a bit of a crush on her, but as he grew up things had changed and they had both moved in different directions. She knew his friends and family, and he suspected that had he not died so early in this war, her love for one of his father's friends would have been much stronger than whatever she held for him, and she likely could have lived a happy and full life.

Harry had bonded with her over that, and other shared losses, and while not always a great way to start a romantic relationship, they both knew that they were likely all each other had left. Everyone else had been gone in one way or another. Their friendly history had helped, as had the physical attraction they both knew existed. Their physical relationship would likely have been one of legends and certainly would have gotten them kicked out of Hogwarts had they attended at the same time and been closer in age. Sex was used to escape from the pain of their past, and at times they desired nothing more than to pleasure the other into a better place and state of mind.

Yet they had always kept some emotional distance from each other outside of the physical realm. It was not as if they were not extremely close friends, and they certainly got along in more ways than one. However, both knew the likely result of the paths they were on and both knew that at any point the other could be torn away in this war as many others dear to them had been, and so emotions were often suppressed and they chose not to dive too deeply into the relationship. But they still had felt peace with each other over this past year, and perhaps there was love there as well.

She gasped suddenly, and it brought Harry's mind sharply back to the present.

He knew what he wanted to say, but it took a moment to get it out. It pained him that these words would be said at this time when they both knew it was the end and not the beginning for them.

Idly he felt his body begin to break down as well, his heart suddenly speeding up, then slowing down, all feeling in his lower extremities gone.

"I think I loved you too", he whispered and leaned over to kiss her one last time. A different kind of kiss. Not one filled so much with desire and extreme passion as most had been between them, but one of heartache and sadness.

She responded weakly and then gave another gasp before her breath caught for a moment.

And his Tonks, the woman who had helped him bring an end to Voldemort, and helped him learn to love again, began to drift away in his grasp.

Tears began to roll down his cheeks and he gathered her best he could in his arms as he lay next to her. As the void finished with her magic and body, Harry Potter waited for the void to take him as well, sad but also accepting of what was to come.

He suddenly heard a croak from aways off, and Voldemort's whisper reached his ears, somehow surprisingly loud and yet clearly weak.

"One last revenge Harry Potter. One last thing that was precious from you torn away. It is a small comfort to me, that she and you will be no more. I wish things had been different for me in this moment, although I do not doubt you feel the same. Perhaps I shall conquer you in death as well Harry. As Dumbledore once said, death is but the next great adventure. A silly sentiment of course, as one can achieve immortality if they so choose, and death is an ending, not a beginning. Yet, now, here with you in this accursed place, I find myself hoping he's right. How silly of me."

Voldemort gave a little chuckle, something Harry had never heard before. But it was not a chuckle of humor so much as one tinged by insanity.

"Curse you Harry Potter. Curse all those who I had to kill around you, and who opposed my power. It would have been easier if you had just accepted what was to be. What should have been. What YOU could have been by my side.

Curse you."

Voldemort drew silent with that last remark, and Harry was not sure if he was dead yet or not. Harry simply held Tonks and let the tears roll down his cheeks, watching the darkness spread from their bodies across the ground, and shimmers in the air where magic had literally torn the area apart. For a moment he thought he saw something within that central dark tear, a flash of golden light, or a burst of flame, but he was sure it was likely his wet eyes playing tricks on him.

And so Harry sat and he cried. Cried for what could and should have been had he chosen a different path and been stronger. Had he made the harder choices early on, and not allowed those around him to manipulate things as much. He had known more about the world he was thrust into far too late in life and the world that he had come to call home. He sat in regret, holding Tonks to his chest and waiting for death.

They may have beaten Tom Riddle in the end, and yet... no one really won.

Suddenly Tonks gasped again by his side, and her arm snapped up wand pointed towards the heavens. Harry shrank back, shocked by this sudden movement. He had been sure she had stopped breathing and passed on, and yet here she was, eyes wide, mouth moving, wand raised. He did not understand the spell she was casting, nor could he hear the words she was mouthing. It was if a blanket had been pulled over his ears and the very air around him seemed to become stifling and dead.

Her wand suddenly snapped in Voldemorts direction and Voldemort let out a terrible shriek as something was pulled from the darkness surrounding him and rose above in the sky. Harry suddenly felt pain like he never had before. Worse than the worst of injuries. Worse than the time Quirrell touched him in his first year. Worse than Snape digging through his mind. He realized Tonks wand was now pointing at him, and something was being dragged forcibly from his body. His mind felt like it was being torn asunder.

For a moment he wondered if Voldemort had somehow taken control of Tonks, and then suddenly the pain ceased. He found himself floating above his body, staring down at Tonks. The air seemed alive with energy and the darkness flowed through it like water. Was he dead? Was this some sort of result of the curse that had flooded the area when the ritual collapsed?

A swirling mix of light and dark was around him, and he noticed that whatever had been ripped from Voldemort was being absorbed by both the light and dark surrounding him. Surrounding his... well what was the right word? Essence? Being? Harry was not sure what to think at this point.

Tonks eyes suddenly snapped up to meet his, and he noticed that one was pure gold and the other pure black. He wanted to run but had no body to run with. He wanted to scream but there was no mouth to scream from. He wanted to reach for Tonks and ask what was happening but had no arms to do so.

Suddenly Tonks mouth moved again and this time he could hear the words, but they came out in a voice that was not her voice. It was a voice that resonated and seemed like the voices of hundreds or thousands of individuals all speaking at the same time. Yet he still felt he could hear Tonks in it.

"Live Harry Potter. You must change the past to protect the future. You must guide and care for this world and use our power and knowledge to mold it into something better. You must live."

Harry was speechless and even as his mind processed the words he had just heard he felt a tug and began racing towards one of the magical tears he had seen earlier. The central one he noted. The one that was once dark as night, and now had light shining from it. He was afraid and yet could do nothing. He felt like power was exploding from him, pulsing in and out, in and out. It was if all the magic in the world was absorbing him, molding him, and tearing at him.

As he was pulled into the grasp of the central tear, he heard another voice whispering directly in his ear full of strong emotions. He recognized it as Tonks and yet he could see her nearby and below on the ground and could see his body still holding tightly to her. She was staring at him with her strange eyes, wand pointed in his direction, mouth moving slightly. He heard what she said, just as the world went dark around him, and he knew no more.

"I love you Harry Potter. Now LIVE!"


	3. Chapter 1 - COD

**Authors note:** I don't like to do these but I may now and then toss one up to clarify something or to provide useful information. In this case, its simply to remind people that the early chapters of this story will take place before Harry is sent back, and is about setting the scene, and explaining how things came to be. I am sorry if for some it feels either repetitive or perhaps lacking in detail. These are simply to set the tone and "perhaps" explain some things that may make more sense later on as first stated in my opening note. **  
**

Also, as I have never utilized (much less written) fanfics before I am still learning the system, as well as figuring out the best way to layout the text or format everything for ease of use both in terms of reading on here, and reading via other devices or programs. If you have any suggestions for me, don't hesitate to PM me. I may not respond to all, but I will read them.

Thanks everyone!

 **PS:** Don't normally expect same day or super fast updates like this. However, I had this part planned and basically written already as it provides some backstory.

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 **Chapter 1 - Dark Times, Dark Memories**

The last few years had been filled with nothing but loss, heartache, and destruction for one Harry James Potter. To be fair, the years prior to them had contained some of these same things, and yet in far fewer quantities, not to mention being countered by periods of joy and wonder.

Discovering he was a wizard.

Escaping from the Dursleys for months on end while at Hogwarts.

Gaining new friends, learning new things, finding unexpected family.

Even coming to understand the meaning of the word love.

There were bumps along the road of course, and nothing is given without something taken. Those first few years within the wizarding world had certainly been full of wonder and excitement but also filled with dangers and mysteries both known and unknown.

An encounter with a possessed teacher.

A danger sprung from a diary and connected to a dark past.

A surprising connection to his parents exposed, welcomed, and then torn away.

But most importantly, a resurrection of a foe that would forever be his enemy, and a life torn asunder just as it began to become what it had dreamed of.

Cedric. How the memory of the night he died still haunted Harry even to this day. Voldemort's resurrection in fourth year within the dark and stifling graveyard had begun a series of events that had begun to tear apart the world Harry had become to love, even with its darker moments and imperfections. He felt now as if that was when his time at Hogwarts had truly come to a close; when his mind had first begun to betray him, nightmares and dark thoughts drifting more fluidly through his essence. Things began to spiral out of control, even if at first it had been hard to see it all for what it was.

It had started out slow, and while his fifth year was filled with reports of deaths and disappearances, breakouts, and some truly terrible nightmares, for the most part, his and Voldemorts lives and paths did not cross. However the year had come to a close with Voldemorts reveal and Sirius Black's death, and Harry, so close to gaining what amounted to a new father, lost what felt like everything. And it had been HIS doing. Not that he felt there had been any other choice at the time and even with the guilt heaped upon him, he could not figure out another path he would have taken.

And then it got worse. In the sixth year, people began to die in greater numbers than ever before. Perhaps the boldness of the death eaters was inspired by revenge for failures at the Ministry the night Sirius died. Whatever the reason, things quickly spiraled out of control. The order was stretched thin, the Ministry struggling after years of neglect of departments that should have been strengthened and weakened from within by those cleverly placed ages before.

And then, just as Harry had finally convinced Dumbledore to share his secrets, it happened.

Dumbledore was assassinated by one Severus Snape, and confusion reigned.

Only a few weeks later and without warning Voldemort and his Death Eaters had attacked the school during Dumbledore's funeral and had killed many students, teachers, and friends. How the surprise was achieved was still somewhat of a mystery. The wards had wavered suddenly, as if in transition, and suddenly there were fewer Aurors on protection duty than there had been moments before. Even members of the public, once seated silently listening to the eulogy had simply vanished. Traitors with Portkeys they now knew. In the process of figuring out what had occurred the wards wavered again and suddenly chaos reigned.

On that day they had lost people such as McGonagall and Flitwick who valiantly tried to protect the crowds and students attending. Even Snape had finally died that day, apparently shredded apart by Voldemort himself. In the months after Harry suspected that Snape had either willingly or unwillingly provided access through the wards of Hogwarts to the attackers and then been turned on by his master. He died without anyone really knowing whose side he was on, as Voldemort tore through his mind and crushed his spirit himself early on in the battle. Interestingly Harry had received a package from Snape soon after, filled with vials of memories. Memories of Dumbledore and Snape's plans which angered, amazed, shocked, and tore at Harry when he had plucked up the courage to watch them.

But even they did provide answers as to who Snape was truly. Perhaps Voldemort had figured out something while looking for answers as to whether Snape was truly on his side. Snape may have been excellent at the mind arts and able to hold Voldemort at bay for a time, and through his passive glances, but a direct and focused attack? Not likely. Perhaps Dumbledore's death had convinced Voldemort of Snape's loyalties for only a short time, if at all. Harry had given up caring.

In addition, many other acquaintances were lost such as Bill Weasley, and Madam Longbottom, or hurt, such as Hagrid and even Lupin, his dads final remaining loyal friend. Both were gravely injured and would never quite be the same. Lupin continued his fight for a while yet refusing to succumb and even briefly finding love, but Hagrid would eventually fall to his wounds just a few short months later. The death toll on the Auror corps had been devastating. Even with as many were at the funeral, the attack had been so sudden and with such numbers, that they stood little chance in the chaos. Many of those who had vanished had been found under death eater masks as well. Those still loyal to the Ministry had been forced to fight around innocents, while the Death Eaters held no such concerns and simply blazed away with abandon, casting spells at anything that moved.

That following year, as Hogwarts remained shuttered, and with what little remained of the Order playing a cat and mouse game with the Death Eaters, Voldemort had gone on a rampage, taking out many of the families who had opposed him over the recent years, and even going so far as to torment or even outright kill those who were openly neutral. The death toll was terrible and exacted a horrible price on the spirit of those remaining. A spirit that was already damaged by the Hogwarts massacre as it had become to be known.

The year after that, Voldemort himself seemed to lose focus, or stop caring about anything but his power and control. The rumors were he was performing many dark rituals, and diving into magic darker than ever before. Even some of his followers began to flee him, finding sanctuary elsewhere, or even occasionally, and shockingly, outright turned against him fearing what he was doing to the world around him. They may have been brave in their final moments and fought for what was right, but they quickly fell. Voldemort began clearing house and purging those no absolutely loyal from higher ranks, while still gathering strength in peons who would be the first to die. He was also preparing for his final takeover of Britain.

In his quest to purge even a family like the Malfoy's was not safe. They were tortured for their repeated failures over the years and while he kept Draco sane enough to function, it was simply for his access to the Malfoy family vaults for his father and mother had been left husks and eventually killed. Many of the most ardent pureblood families were hesitant at what he was doing but could do nothing to stop him.

Voldemort seemed to have stepped too far into darkness, his mind now warped and any subtly gone. He was no longer a Lord seeking to make Britain into a bastion for the purebloods, solving perceived problems and controlling the mudbloods and muggles alike. No, now he was an insane and power hungry monster who was just as likely to kill those supporting him, as those against him. He simply wanted control over all things, and anyone he came across.

Neutral families such as the Greengrass families were hunted down, and while the Order had attempted to help, it had been too late. Harry felt especially terrible about Daphne and Astoria's deaths. It had begun with an attack on Tracy Davis and her family, and while her parents were killed, Tracy managed to escape to the home of her closest friend Daphne. Sadly, that refuge had lasted all of one night before the Death Eaters came calling. Harry had learned later that while both Tracy and Daphne's parents had been simply killed, Daphne and Astoria had been given much worse sentences. While they were Slytherins during his time in Hogwarts, he had met them a few times, and they had always been civil to him. He had come to respect and even like them since Hogwarts had closed, as they had been subtly helping those who opposed Voldemort while their parents publicly remained neutral. Hell, he had even flirted once or twice with Daphne, trying to get her to crack a smile.

Apparently, Daphne's father had refused marriage contracts for his daughters from several Death Eater families, knowing that even if they were not poorly treated by those they married, it would be highly likely that they would be shared with the Dark Lord and perhaps his followers. Their beauty and blood purity had been coveted by many, and the refusals did not sit well. Harry had been especially incensed to find out that Daphne and Astoria had been found to have been sexually abused and likely raped viciously before their deaths. There were younger death eaters who wished to enjoy the spoils of war, and Voldemort at that time was simply letting his minions run loose, enjoying the fear and destruction they sowed.

Fred, George, and Arthur Weasley had all perished in an attack on the Weasley home soon after, and while Molly was not among the dead, she had not reappeared either, and it was assumed she had been taken captive. Ron and Ginny had been devastated. Andromeda and Ted Tonks had died after sheltering Ron and Ginny briefly as they attempted to seek out information on their Mother before rejoining Harry and Hermione in their quests. It was not known how the death eaters had found this fact out, or even if that was the reason the Tonks were targeted. Luckily Nymphadora had been with Remus at the time. Harry had felt especially terrible about Tonks parents deaths because of the time he had been spending off and on with Tonks and the precious few remaining Order members, and feeling as if anyone he was around was in danger. But with the number of homes and families being attacked, there was little time for such thoughts.

The Ministry fell soon after. No matter how hard the remainder of the Order of the Phoenix tried, their influence in the Ministry had fallen into ruins or died to a mad Lord. As the Orders numbers dwindled, Voldemort's did as well. Kingsley himself took out an entire squad of Death Eaters single-handedly when he died. Voldemort's forces may have been getting weaker by the day, but he seemed to get stronger and more brazen himself. He had led the charge into the Ministry, seemingly unconcerned about the disaster the last time he was in those same halls.

Amelia Bones, the current Minister of Magic and most of the remaining loyal Aurors acquitted themselves honorably, taking out almost all of Voldemorts attacking forces, and yet Tom himself was without equal there. After he killed Amelia Bones, he sat in the ruins of her office, as the Ministry burned around him. At one time, he had planned to subtly take control, but the reason for his power was also the reason for his brazenness. The Dark rituals he was experimenting with as his insanity and anger seemed to grow, led him to forget about a quiet take over. No, he, and through his influence, his most loyal of followers, simply no longer cared, and tore across Britain.

Harry had heard that Neville had died shortly after Amelia's death, apparently trying to protect both Susan Bones and Luna Lovegood after her aunt had been assassinated at the Ministry when it fell. Harry had not heard that Luna was still alive. Her father had been killed and strung up in front of his burning house soon after the Weasleys were attacked, and the rumor was she had died in the conflagration. And yet, she must have taken refuge with Neville or Susan. Harry remembered Neville fondly, especially in later years as he had become a friend. But it had been some time since he had seen him, and he had never told Harry or the Order that Luna still lived. Perhaps he had simply been concerned about the information falling into the wrong hands. Harry knew now that part of the reason had been Luna's mental state. She was a broken thing, prone to fits of madness and Harry knew that Neville likely did not want them to see Luna in such a state.

Neville's, Susan's, and Luna's deaths had been especially hard on Harry. Apart from those closest to him, they had been the last of those left he considered his Hogwarts friends. Neville had become especially brave over the years and had fallen for Susan and she for him, and Luna had never failed to make Harry smile. Susan was an excellent match for Neville, as strong and free-spirited as her Aunt. The only thing that brought comfort to Harry was that Neville, Susan, and even Luna had apparently killed Bellatrix even as Neville had fallen. Sadly, if the rumors were true, Susan and Luna had perished shortly thereafter by Dolohov's hand; the last of Voldemorts original inner circle outside of Bellatrix who had still been alive by that time.

All but one of the few remaining members of the Order had died not long after in an attempt to rescue those survivors of the ministry purge and conflagration, who were being held hostage at what was once Malfoy Manor. A last-ditch effort to save what was left of the Ministry, and bring new wands into the fight against Voldemort. They had planned well, and with Voldemorts new base being the ruins of the Ministry, it was assumed they would not be heavily guarded.

How wrong they were.

Tonks had been the only survivor and only lived due to Remus thrusting a portkey into her arms and activating it as he fell to a curse from Voldemort himself. Tonks had never forgiven him or herself for it. He should not have been there, injured as he was, but refused to let the Order go without him, nor Tonks. They had come to love one another and had been dreaming of a future. She had spent months afterward wandering, her mind broken from the fighting and from losing Remus, her only goal to wreak as much havoc on the remaining Death Eaters as she could. She likely would have gone completely mad, and perhaps become another Bellatrix if she had not run into Harry when she did. Harry, who with his closest of friends and a lover, had been on a quest to mold mortality from immortality before it all went horribly wrong.

While Harry likely saved Tonks mind from falling into darkness, she saved his as well. For they found each other 4 months after a series of events that Harry still could not comprehend, and one that had turned him from a fighter for the light against Voldemort, into a much darker individual, wanting nothing but revenge upon Tom Marvolo Riddle no matter the cost.


	4. Chapter 2 - COD

**Chapter 2 – Twisted Friendships**

As those all around them had died, Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron had been alternating between assisting the order doing what damage they could to the Death Eaters, and looking for Horcruxes. Despite the overall lack of information on Voldemort's supposed protection from death, the few talks Harry had with Dumbledore, combined with Snape's memories, and Harry's nightmares had helped fuel the hunt.

Harry now understood the depths at which Dumbledore had gone to manipulate things just so and guide not just Harry, but even Snape, Voldemort, and the Order into certain positions, as if he was simply playing Ron at chess. Snape, of course, having played multiple sides, seemingly without true loyalty to anyone beyond himself and his own memories of a love lost, was more aware of Dumbledores plans than the old man likely suspected. Being a master occlumens had certainly been of major help. This the vials of memories proved without a doubt.

The Horcruxes were known to a select few, but both Dumbledore and Snape had seemingly independently come to the conclusion as to what they likely were having only discussed a few of them. Within the memories that the vials had contained, were conversations, plans, ideas, and discussions that spoke of three founder's items, a locket, a cup, and a diadem. Within Snape's memories was another rumored one, a ring that Voldemort believed no one knew about but him, and yet Snape had stumbled across the information somewhere. The memories did not say where or how.

Harry, of course, had destroyed one already, the diary. This meant that there was likely but two remaining. His nightmares had led him to guess that Nagini was one of those two. But the last one was still a mystery.

The last of seven Horcruxes.

It had been Hermione who had decided upon the number 7. Through prodigious research within the Black library, words spoken within the memory vials, and simple logic, she had deduced that it was the only reasonable number. It was supposed to be a magically powerful number, and any more than that seemed excessive and dangerous to the point where even Voldemort would not risk such a thing with his mortality and soul hanging in the balance.

Harry knew that without the Horcruxes destruction, killing Voldemort was all but pointless. Dumbledore had not left them much in the way of help, and without the memory vials from Snape, it was likely all would have been lost before it was begun. Dumbledore was a moron for not explaining things further before his death or at least planning for its possibility. But it had been several years since his death and Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny had spent their time well, researching, learning, and planning. They had mostly succeeded, destroying all but Nagini and the final unknown seventh Horcrux. They were assisted by a large amount of luck guiding them along the way, and the Orders distractions. They were now on the trail of the final Horcrux and planning on how to meet Voldemort face to face and destroy both him and Nagini at the same time.

But then, even Harry's closest friends fell to darkness.

* * *

…..

* * *

It had begun so stupidly, with that idiot Ron attempting to go find his mother all alone without their help. Harry assumed the deaths of so many close to him and those within the order had finally taken their toll. It had been ages since the Weasley home had been attacked, but Ron had heard a rumor that his mother had been spotted somewhere near the remnants of their home in Ottery St. Catchpole. Ron now firmly believed she was in hiding somewhere nearby hoping to catch sight of her remaining two children should they come and investigate the ruins of their old home. The rest of them had their doubts.

Ron had simply said he needed to know. Charlie had died with the final members of the Order in the Ministry retake attempt, and no one had heard from Percy since the Ministry was attacked the first time, and so he was assumed dead. That meant that Ron and Ginny were all their mother had left, and if she was there, he felt like he was obligated to let her know they were still alive. Ginny, despite her doubts, had wanted to go as well but was still recovering from a recent skirmish with Death Eaters and Harry felt she should not take the risk while still weak. If this was a trap as he suspected, or if nothing else a false sighting, it was far too dangerous to go back to anywhere close to the ruins of the Burrow.

However, both he and Hermione had been unable to talk Ron out of it, especially with Ginny torn over the matter herself. After multiple arguments in which all three yelled at each other, Ginny had sobbed to the side, and Ron had said some surprisingly hurtful things, it came to a head when Ron had blamed Hermione and Harry for his families deaths.

Ron had been struggling with the death of so much of his family and had been acting a bit out of sorts as of late. His fights with Hermione had become more common, and the strain had even been taking a toll Harry and Ginny's relationship. Ginny and Ron were brother and sister after all, and Harry knew that Ginny was in just as much pain over the losses as Ron was.

Harry argued against Ron going until the very last moment, saying that they needed to stay put, take care of Ginny, and focus on the main task of destroying Tom. But In the end, Ron had cursed him and disapparated, leaving them stunned.

Hermione had wanted to follow at once, but they did not know where exactly Ron was going and his treatment of her and Harry had left her confused and dismayed. Harry also pointed out that Ginny was still weak from her Injury and they did not know if Ron had simply gone to clear his head. For all they knew he could be back later apologizing and things would be alright again between them. Hermione had simply collapsed to the ground and sobbed, possibly feeling within her heart that they would never see Ron again.

Harry knew Hermione had never forgiven Ron for leaving her behind that day, and for going in the first place. He had been gone only two days when Death Eaters had attacked their camp. While he, Hermione, and a still injured Ginny had fought well, and escaped, the taunting they heard from Dolohov during the fight had tormented them. Ron had apparently found his mother in the woods near the Borrow in the custody of a group of Death Eaters. She had been kept prisoner and repeatedly tortured for information and amusement and then put under the imperius curse to lure her children, and hopefully Harry, out into the open.

Ron, for reasons they would never know, had apparently bargained for her life, and in the process given out Harry, Ginny, and Hermione's location.

Harry knew that likely Ron was overconfident and figured he could escape with his mother and warn them first, or perhaps he did not willingly betray them, his mind having been broken into when he was captured. But by going alone on a mission that was questionable at best, he had given them up. Ron, a friend for so many years to them, a boyfriend for but a few to Hermione, and a brother for her entire life to Ginny had sold them out with his stupidity. To this day Harry still wondered what exactly had happened, and how much truth there was to the Death Eaters taunts about Ron providing the key to their deaths.

Yet whatever the cause, he knew that Ron had given their location up somehow, for the Death Eaters had found them, and had come expecting to kill them.

The fact the three escaped did not change that.

It had been the beginning of the end for both the golden trio and Harry and Ginny's relationship. Hermione was devastated by the betrayal and Ron's likely death after it. She had thought him to be the possible love of her life, and yet he had abandoned her, left her behind, and then given her and her closest friends up. She had screamed for hours afterward about how selfish he had been and how he could do such a thing to them.

Ginny had perhaps felt even worse. Her brother had betrayed not only his sister, but Harry, the love of her life, and Hermione her best friend left in this world. But more than that, he had ruptured the connection between her and Harry by doing so. They had all been under immense stress, and Harry and she had fought like cats and dogs after that point. They still held love for each other and yet somehow having her brother do what he did, made it hard for them to look at each other.

Perhaps the love they had was not true love, or perhaps the world that had fractured around them simply made such love impossible.

Whatever had been was now gone.

Over the next month, Hermione and Ginny drifted away from Harry a bit. They took comfort in each other, one losing a boyfriend and lover, the other losing a brother. They felt betrayed, but Harry felt broken.

The three hopped from place to place, assassinating Death Eaters with cold abandon. They barely talked, and each had but one goal in mind; the ultimate destruction of Voldemort. With the destruction of the Horcruxes besides the unknown one and Nagini, who Harry knew would always be at his master's side, the focus had simply become figuring the final unknown seventh one and preparing to meet the dark lord face to face in an advantageous moment and defeat him, hopefully destroying Nagini at the same time.

It was then that Harry had made what he felt was his greatest mistake of the past few years.

He abandoned those who had been closest to him.

Not permanently, at least according to his intentions, but it may as well have been such, and the later realization that he had acted nearly as Ron had stung like nothing else.

He had felt the need to get away after Ron's betrayal, the need to find some peace and be alone for a time. All the fighting, the depression, and the anger over Ron's actions had simmered and festered, twisting inwards and filling him with disgust. While Hermione and Ginny were closer than ever in grief, Harry felt further apart from both than he ever had before. He still called them friends, and yet he knew their relationships were somehow tainted now.

Perhaps in time they could have rebuilt what they had lost, reworking themselves, but certainly not until the war had ended. Not until Voldemort had died and they could stop constantly moving, struggling, and fighting.

He awoke one night at their latest hideout with such thoughts in his head and had made a choice he would forever regret. He had left his two closest loves and friends behind, charging forward like a brash idiotic Gryffindor to obtain information on the final Horcrux and Voldemort alone.

He had left those he loved behind to protect him he told himself. Without realizing it at the time, he was doing what Ron had done in a sense, forgetting those who supported him, and going blindly towards a goal alone without thinking it through and listening to others advice. Abandoning the help of those he loved and who loved him, on a mission likely to fail. But he needed to get away and do SOMETHING.

ANYTHING.

He had left a note for Ginny and Hermione, simply saying he needed time alone and that he would be back in a week.

He would never see them alive again.


	5. Chapter 3 - COD

**Chapter 3 - The Fallen Angels**

A few nights before his decision to leave Hermione and Ginny behind, Harry had seen something of Voldemorts movements and plans through his nightmares. While he never fully trusted these glimpses he would get while sleeping, more recently he had come to think of his nightmares as visions and they had proven almost always accurate. It wouldn't do to forget the past though, as Voldemort had once used this connection to trick Harry costing him dearly. Harry had closed himself off as best he could after that incident, learning the mind arts and ignoring what he would see. At times early on he had even resorted to dreamless sleep potions, begged from Madame Pomfrey and allowed by Dumbledore.

However later he saw the Nightmares as visions, for something had clearly changed within them. They seemed more like glimpses of Voldemorts surroundings and felt as if he was merely viewing what was contained within them rather than being part of them himself. Despite his attempts to push them away, at some point they had crept back in, even through his protections.

Harry did not know why but the running theory by Hermione was that the dark rituals and experiments that Voldemort had been performing had changed their connection and opened Voldemort up more to Harry, intensifying it but also masking it from Voldemort himself. And with Harry more in control of his mind, he was able to view without being detected.

Whatever the reason, after some experimenting and careful checks, these nightmares, or visions, seemed to be very accurate if interpreted correctly, providing a wealth of information. Without them, their Horcrux search would not have proceeded much slower and with more difficulty. But it still was necessary to be careful, and not rely too heavily on them. Plus, it was unpredictable when they would occur meaning they were not reliable as a consistent resource for information.

….

There were not many of Voldemorts Death Eaters were left, just as there were very few of those opposed to him remaining alive as the war had taken a terrible toll on the magical population of Britain. Rumor was that factions of unmarked self-styled "Death Eaters" in other countries had begun their own fights for power, as Voldemort focused solely on Harry and his own personal rituals. No other wizarding Ministry had the time, or energy to look to Britain and provide any assistance, instead focusing on their own internal security and borders.

Voldemort had been moving back and forth between the ruins of the ministry, now a base from which the Death Eaters launched attacks and raids, Malfoy Manor, and Hogsmeade. No one knew what purpose he had in Hogsmead, although it was likely it was related to Hogwarts. Harry and the order had known that Malfoy Manor was often where prisoners were kept, and sometimes where important items of Voldemort and the Death Eaters were stored temporarily. Lucious had his little secret areas after all, and the wards were strong.

However, Harry had seen a new location in this latest vision. It was a small manor that seemed oddly familiar and with wards mostly broken and in disrepair. It took him some time to realize it was the old Lestrange residence and was not terribly far from where Harry, Hermione, and Ginny had been hiding recently. While the Lestranges were now long dead Death Eaters, it was an odd place for Voldemort to suddenly show up, and Harry's curiosity was peaked. Harry had wondered if it was a new ritual location, or perhaps Malfoy manor no longer housed everything Voldemort was protecting. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the location of the last elusive Horcrux.

With his anger still burning strong, and his need to do something stronger than ever Harry had made the choice to check the location out. He did not think about why the wards would still be so weak if it was truly such an important place, nor did he stop to consider that going to a location without proper planning was a bad idea. And he certainly did not consider that a location so close to where he had been operating might have another purpose.

…

When he had arrived, the area the manor was located in had seemed quiet. He spent the day nearby, scouting out the surrounding woods, before moving onto the manor grounds that night. While the manor had seemed quiet there were also clear signs of habitation. It was not what Harry had been expecting, assuming it to be a location visited by Voldemort himself.

The first death eater he had come across had died, painfully. A few bludgeoners to the chest will cause that.

The next had simply lost his head.

Literally.

The third took a killing curse in the face. It barely caused Harry to pause.

As Harry, blinded by anger and frustration about the somewhat recent betrayal of his close friend, and without the calming support of the women in his life, tore his way through the Death Eaters on the grounds and in the manor, he failed to realize how easy it all was.

He killed many Death Eaters, shocked at how easy casting the killing curse had become. It had frightened him and yet he had not faltered. He even managed to down Dolohov, the last known original inner circle member alive. Harry caught him with a severing curse to the neck when Dolohov was busy taunting him about being in the wrong place and the wrong time. As Harry had moved forward to finish him off, Dolohov had stated that he was sad he had not been chosen to go with his lord since he would be unable to play with the new toys. Harry, at the time, had simply thought that the comments had been simple ramblings of a man gone mad.

He had finished Dolohov off and moved on.

When he came upon the last living soul in the house, he had hesitated. It was not Voldemort as he had suspected, but Draco Malfoy, mind partially broken, and utterly afraid. Harry had cursed the heavens that he had apparently missed the Dark Lord, although it explained the ease at which he had torn through this place. But the fact that Dolohov and Malfoy were here and not at Malfoy manor also confused him.

Malfoy pleaded and begged for his life, and Harry obliged for a time. Malfoy rambled about new rituals at Malfoy Manor, about the movement of Death Eaters to this new place, and how he was afraid of death. Harry listened for a short time as his former school foe spilled his heart out, but also spoke of things that made no sense, before eventually tearing into his mind to figure out where Voldemort might be.

What he found had chilled him to his core and made his eyes go wide.

Without realizing it he crushed Draco's mind in a sudden burst of magic and anger and Draco collapsed, eyes empty and unseeing.

This was why they had set up a temporary base here. This was why it had felt too easy. Somehow, Voldemort had found out where Hermione, Ginny, and Harry had been staying as of late and had left the location only six hours earlier with a small force of his most loyal and skilled remaining Death Eaters sans Dolohov who had been left in charge of the manor and those remaining. Fearful of what he would find, with tears already streaming down his face at the possibilities, Harry apparated back to the place he had left the girls.

Voldemort was nowhere in sight but blood stained the ground and bodies lay crumpled everywhere. At first glance, it appeared Ginny and Hermione had perhaps escaped and put up one hell in the process. Conscious of a possible ambush he crept slowly towards the little camp they had set up. At least a dozen Death Eaters lay dead on the ground, and scorch marks covered the area. Smoke still drifted from some spots. Yes, Hermione and Ginny and acquitted themselves well and Harry suddenly had a spark of hope spring into life in his heart as he failed to spot the two of them amongst the dead.

They had trained for such moments and he knew they could hold their own against immense odds. Yet, if Voldemort himself had come as Draco had thought...

Harry's eyes caught something as he widened his search, looking around the area outside the camp. The previous spark of hope died and pain flooded Harry in its place as if someone had simply opened up Harry's chest and stomped down on his heart. Strung up in a tree side by side were Ginny and Hermione. There were covered with injuries, their hair messy, and their clothes were ripped and torn. His mind ignored everything but the two women in front of him. He was frozen for but a moment before rushing towards them. He knew before he got there that his life was over and his heart would forever be dark.

Ginny's eyes were glazed over and while she had injuries everywhere he took comfort in the fact that it appeared she had died from a simple Avada Kadavra and felt no pain at the moment of death. Hermione, however, appeared to have been tortured and abused and had clearly died in immense pain. He knew that such disrespect of her likely came about because she was muggleborn, and he could only hope that any sexual abuse had happened after she had died so she had not known it.

While Harry had been watchful for an ambush and checked for signs of danger, if he had missed anything it was too late now to stop one from coming, and he honestly no longer cared. He struggled to get his friends down, forgetting everything else around him, and focusing only on the two women he had loved, each in their own way. Without Ron as a best friend it was entirely possible that he and Hermione would have gotten together, and until he and Ginny had connected on a deeper level, he had always been a bit jealous of Ron winning Hermione over. Now both Ginny and Hermione were dead in his arms and it was all his fault.

Stupid stupid Gryffindor.

Idiotic boy.

Freak.

He had spent an hour simply staring blankly at them as he rocked them, holding each against his sides, as he waited for Voldemort to return and kill him. As he waited longer and longer, anger began to take hold, and darkness seeped into him, more so than it ever had before. However, he still had the presence of mind to eventually take his friends to a little flower covered meadow away from the battle site and bury them, placing flowers on their freshly dug graves, and marking them with simple headstones.

He had refused to return back to the site of their camp, and instead apparated straight back to Lestrange manor, intending to face Voldemort and destroy him, remaining Horcruxes be damned. Upon arrival he found an interesting sight. The manor burned to the ground and a single Death Eater staked up in the middle of the ashes, clearly still alive and yet not moving apart from his eyes.

As Harry got closer he saw a horrible sight. The man's head was backwards on his body, with his arms and legs facing away from Harry, but his face staring right at him, watching him come closer. Moving forward without fear Harry had asked the man a simple question.

"Where is he?"

The man had seemed to understand who Harry was asking for at once and replied in a voice that surprised Harry, even through his rage. It, after all, was the voice of Lord Voldemort himself, coming from this broken and displayed man.

"I welcome you back Harry. A victory you may have achieved here and I compliment you on it. It was certainly something I did not expect. But it is of little importance for while I did not manage to obtain the greatest prize in you, the two consolation prizes were more than satisfactory. I took little pleasure in them myself, but those around me certainly did."

There had been a brief pause when the man suddenly gasped and convulsed and then Voldemorts voice came once again from the man's mouth, preceded by a cold chilling laugh.

"No, Potter, I took little pleasure in them, but I took great pleasure from knowing what they meant to you Potter. And for that very reason, I won't wait for you here. I won't grant you a release just yet from your pain and suffering. Oh how I wanted to kill you, and I knew you would come back to this place upon finding out what I had done. It would have been so easy to let you come right to me. But it's so much more fun this way is it not?"

The man had seemed to sag at that moment and Harry was sure he had finally died.

But a final whisper fell from the man's mouth.

"Do not worry Harry Potter for I will give you the death you so richly reserve soon."

And suddenly the man burst into flames and turned to ash.

Harry had seethed in rage while at the same time he lost himself in his grief. At the time he had no longer cared for his life or those in Britain he had started fighting to protect. No, he simply had sought revenge for all the dark times in his life, seemingly all tracing back to one man... no not a man... a plague upon this world.

His eyes burned with darkness and Harry Potter was no longer Harry Potter.


End file.
